The Pros and Cons of My Single Life

Pro: I do what I want

Long gone are the days of Friday Night Boxing and Saturday or Sunday movie dates, whether they'd be in or out. If I want to go hiking, I go hiking. If I want to go dancing, I go dancing. And if I want to stay in, I stay in. I don't have to "check in" with my significant other to coordinate our schedules. There are no more compromises. I decide what to do, where to do it, and when.

Con: I have to conjure up someone to do what I want with me

I no longer have the luxury of relying on a boyfriend to accompany me to work events, friend's parties, family gatherings, or clubbing. Now I have to determine who I can drag with me on different excursions. Will my sister be up for it? Will my friend Susanna be available? Should I just gather up the balls and go by myself? I know it shouldn't be a big deal going to the movies alone or eating sushi by a window unaccompanied since I shop in the singular form all the time. So why am I so hesitant? What am I scared of? I already eat dinner by my lonesome self most weeknights. And I miss the serenity of my Gilmore Girls playing in the background when I have dinner at my parent's who constantly bark at each other. Wouldn't my party of one be peaceful too? It could be but it wouldn't because deep down, despite what I desperately want to believe, I would care about what people thought. Unlike grabbing a quick bite for lunch, people would think I was a loser for not having absolutely anybody to hang out with at dinnertime. Also, my introvert self would be in constant fear of being approached and bothered. Unless my kitchen is devoid of mac and cheese, I guess it'll be just be me, Lorelai, and Rory for another while.

Pro: I am a better driver
Driving to the mountains, the beach, museums, national parks, and missions has made me less fearful of taking on the streets, freeways, and highways of Southern California. If I miss an exit, I just turn around, no big deal. Also, heading home late from these adventures is making me get used to being behind the wheel at night, something I tried avoiding before (although I'm always on the look out for drunk drivers coming in the opposite direction). In addition, I have taken up parallel parking and backing up into a spot and am getting quite good, if I do say so myself.

Con: I am always the designated driver

Instead of playing rock-paper-scissors with a boyfriend to figure out who'll be the one having a few drinks that evening, I now play eenie minnie miney mo with my cars. Deciding which car to drive depends on the task, although sometimes it comes down to choosing the one with gas. If the outing consists of drinking, I start early and am limited to one cocktail because, sadly, there's no one else to hand over the keys to at the end of the night. 

My baby, my best friend, my faithful companion. #IHeartRubi  

Pro: I no longer live on a schedule

I used to be so anal about my routine when I was in a relationship: work, gym, dinner, shower, sleep. Adding anything to this list, like running an errand or doing laundry, would turn me into a monster. But I did it so that, by the end of the week, I would have time to spend with my boyfriend. Well, so much for that. I have since taken off my Super Woman cape. First of all, I try my best not to freak out if I can't make it to Curves because I have to go to Target or Food 4 Less instead. And if I get invited to happy hour and I really want to go, I no longer contemplate the repercussions of missing a workout. I just go. I won't lie, I will try to make up the lost day but at least I now choose to have a few laughs over working towards a flat stomach that is never going to happen. 

Con: I get less sleep

Because I now take salsa lessons in the middle of the week and sometimes even close the place down or head out to nature late in the afternoon on a whim, I find myself getting home later than I ever had. I've walked in to the house as my dad prepared to go to work at three in the morning and arrived at my apartment as a neighbor headed out to do the same before the sun rose. On those crazy nights, the ringing in my ears is a sweet lullaby and my eight hours of beauty sleep are reduced to less than six. There is one rule I live by and that is not to take out my crankiness on my students. 

 Night owl me.

Pro: I'm living life

Like most relationships, I think, I fell in a rut with my boyfriend. Going out meant picking up groceries, dinner, and a movie before heading back to my place. If I went shopping with my mom and she found a dress she thought I should buy I said, "What for? I don't go out anymore." But being single means that I seize every invitation I receive to put myself out there again. I know some friends include me in their lunch dates because they pity me while others are as lonely as I am. Either way, if I'm in the mood and think it might be a good opportunity to find Mr. Right, I gladly accept. Having plans requires fun clothing and I've been filling my closet pretty nicely. I still shop on a budget ($15 max for a shirt/blouse unless I really, really like it) but I have allowed myself a little more sex appeal and a lot more color. I'm confident if I think I look good and I know this trait will attract people whether I'm standing at the top of a mountain, staring at a painting, or hitting the dance floor. 

Con: My credit card bill is twice as much as it used to be

My shopping comes out of my checking account. If there are no funds, there is no buying. But I put my gas and grocery bills on my credit card because I get cash back. And that bill has significantly increased since being single due to a healthier diet and regular adventures. Eating well costs more but I like the results I've seen paired with my exercise regime. And, well, driving around in a 4x4 doesn't come cheap but it is tons of fun. 

Fashion + Location = Priceless Memories

Pro: I know what I want

I've been asked by males and females, "What are you looking for in a guy?" It took me a couple of months, but I think I figured it out. I want someone who is smart, loyal, honest, ambitious, funny, and hard working. I learned to identify Red Flags the hard way and will no longer tolerate anyone who plants a seed of doubt in my mind or turns on my intuition.

Con: He doesn't exist

I know the perfect man doesn't exist. I wanted someone tall who could dance and it didn't work out. So I have let go of the physical characteristics and capability requirements and am simply relying on a man's heart to conquer mine.

The one perfect man on this planet is unfortunately taken :(