Things My Sister and Other People Say

 

Tequila merchant at Agave Girls Tequila Tasting at the Vive Lounge in Pomona: "Añejo's been in the wood for eighteen months."

Me: (Giggle, giggle)

Me: "I like a kick in my tequila."

Jackie: "What are the other flavors?"

Flavored-tequila merchant: "You have beautiful eyes. Why don't you use them to look at the bottles?"

Me: (Thought only) She doesn't have her glasses, asshole.

Jackie, walking away: "...last I checked, they'd hired you to cater our ass..."

Jackie to Paquí tequila seller: "Does all tequila come from Jalisco?"

Me:    : /

Jackie to me, after bonding over reposado tequila with a guy: "He's the male version of Ugly Betty."

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Jackie: "I need to find my zen."

Me: "We found fall!"

Me: "What am I doing? I'm going to turn back!"

Jackie: "You're doing fine, you're doing fine."

Me: "The Weather Channel said it'd be 50 and sunny."

Me: "They didn't lie. It is sunny!"

Jackie: "Aw, these houses are made of... cabin!"

Me:    : /

Jackie: "Let's paint."

Me: "It's too cold. Our fingers will fall off."

Me to Jackie: "You know I'm going to be driving through that later."

Old lady to another in a Big Bear boutique shop: "Where is that place you get your nuts from?"

Me, as I take deep breaths driving down the mountain: "We're the only morons heading down. Indian food, winding road, plus fog is no bueno."
Jackie, carsick: "My esophagus is burning."

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Jackie, walking behind me: (Laughing)

Me, turning around: (Searching for the funny thing)

Jackie: "So, you got that shirt on clearance?"

Girl walking with a group of friends who stopped to talk to Jackie: "Hi. We're doing a scavenger hunt with our church and I just wanted to tell you that Jesus loves you."

Me to Jackie, after the kids walked away: "Why doesn't Jesus love me?"