My friend Michael is always winning contests on the radio and has developed a large following of haters because of it. This year alone, he's been to Wango Tango, Disney's D23 Expo, and Geroge Lopez. On Monday he won tickets for the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Vegas this weekend but because he was two days short of the one-prize-per-60-days rule, he didn't get them.
"@katyperry I won a radio contest to see u at the #iheartradiofestival I photoshopped a pic of u and me but then the station took them away."
"@katyperry they said because I won tickets from them 58 days ago I don't qualify I needed to wait two more days, I really wanted to see you."
"@1027KIISFM @iHeartRadio I won and you guys took it away from me I'm super sad now."
Yeah, he was pissed. I tried consoling him by telling him to focus on the good times he's had all summer thanks to his luck. But just like when you take beer away from a drunk, he was inconsolable.
I had the pleasure of relishing in Michael's fortune last month. Out of seven million people in the world, he invited me to D23 after finding out that there was going to be a Mary Poppins movie anniversary celebration. Being that I'm the only Mary Poppins fan in the planet, it kind of made a lot of sense to take me. But there is one thing you have to know. Michael's luck doesn't end when he picks up his tickets from the KIIS FM studios in Burbank. No siree. As we stood in line that day at the Anaheim Convention Center waiting to witness the Disney magic inside, one of the workers told us to follow him if we wanted to be upgraded to VIP for free. So we did. As we made our way into the Expo, we looked back at the General Admission line where we had been. The folks we had seen at the front were in the exact same spot. Suckas! I could go on and on about the fun we had that day but I already did: http://practicallyperfectmp.blogspot.com/2013/08/d23-expo.html.
Some of Michael's luck finally rubbed off on me last Saturday. I was at L.A.'s Eat/See/Hear event with my sister and her friends when the dude at the KROQ booth asked us if we wanted tickets to a comedy festival in Irvine on Sunday. He claimed Dave Chappelle was going to be there. My sister had a paper to write so she couldn't go. And her friends didn't want to be out late the night before their work week started. I, being on vacation and all, had nothing to do on Sunday so I accepted the offer but not before asking what I had to do to get them. Dude said, "Nothing." So he began to search for the tickets. Dude looked on top of the table, under the table, and in a few boxes and bags on the floor without any luck. I told him he had lied and he looked embarrassed. He told us there was a guy with a red beard walking around that should have the tickets. My sister asked for the red bearded guy's name and Dude said it was Trevor. We promised to stalk Trevor as we continued to walk around. But Trevor was the one who found us. My posse was standing in front of a food truck debating what to grub when Trevor approached us by asking, "Were you interested in the tickets?" My sister screamed, "Trevor," and I raised my hand. Trevor told me I had to do one thing and I almost backed out. But all he wanted was a picture for the website and I followed him to the KROQ booth. And just like that, I had free tickets in my possession too.
Since my sister couldn't come with me to the comedy festival, I decided to repay a favor by inviting Michael. He was very excited. He's the one who told me the venue was outdoors and the names of all the comedians that were going to be there. The lineup included Flight of the Conchords, Al Madrigal, Chris D'Elia, Demitri Martin, Dave Chappelle and more. I didn't care about the specifics, although I appreciated the fact about the event being outside because a girl has to plan her outfit. I was just glad I had won something with zero effort.
I will spare you the details of the horrendous traffic to the amphitheater. I will, however, begin with Michael's continuous lucky streak. He stopped at the Airheads candy booth because they were giving VIP passes to the funniest Airhead moment Tweet. Without a doubt in his mind, Michael said, "I got this."
"This morning I was rushing and decided toothpaste would make good hair gel @airheadscandy #AirheadMoment #oddballfest."
The actual airhead at the booth gave us free hand sanitizer and SPF lotion for our participation. It was dinner time but the lines were ginormous--over an hour long, to be exact, a nice lady was kind enough to share-- and I wanted a drink. So we headed to the margarita station instead. We were able to get our drink on for the low low price of $27. We then settled for the chili cheese fries truck, per my request, where the alcohol made it easier to make fun of people, like the girl over-dressed for the occasion who according to me looked like Rapunzel but according to the guy in front of us was more of an Ariel. Since we weren't moving, Michael checked his Twitter account to see if he had won the Airhead VIP prize and this is what he found:
"CONGRATS TO @Mstei_! You have won two VIP tix for tonight. You have 20 minutes to claim them at the @AirheadsCandy booth at #Oddballfest."
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| This shot has nothing to do with free tickets. It was just the beautiful view of LA from my vantage point before The Breakfast Club started playing that night. |
I will spare you the details of the horrendous traffic to the amphitheater. I will, however, begin with Michael's continuous lucky streak. He stopped at the Airheads candy booth because they were giving VIP passes to the funniest Airhead moment Tweet. Without a doubt in his mind, Michael said, "I got this."
"This morning I was rushing and decided toothpaste would make good hair gel @airheadscandy #AirheadMoment #oddballfest."
The actual airhead at the booth gave us free hand sanitizer and SPF lotion for our participation. It was dinner time but the lines were ginormous--over an hour long, to be exact, a nice lady was kind enough to share-- and I wanted a drink. So we headed to the margarita station instead. We were able to get our drink on for the low low price of $27. We then settled for the chili cheese fries truck, per my request, where the alcohol made it easier to make fun of people, like the girl over-dressed for the occasion who according to me looked like Rapunzel but according to the guy in front of us was more of an Ariel. Since we weren't moving, Michael checked his Twitter account to see if he had won the Airhead VIP prize and this is what he found:
"CONGRATS TO @Mstei_! You have won two VIP tix for tonight. You have 20 minutes to claim them at the @AirheadsCandy booth at #Oddballfest."
We started laughing because we couldn't believe it. I know Michael had said that he was going to win but how many times have I said, "I'm going to win the 11 million dollars in tonight's Super Lotto," and nothing happens. There was one problem, though. The Airheads Tweet had been posted nineteen minutes before. That's when I said, "Run!"
When I arrived to the booth, the Airheads dude was taking a picture of Michael's phone screen. There was also a professional photographer taking more shots behind him. As Dude took out two wristbands, I asked if there was going to be free booze. He said there would be. Dude asked for a few more pictures and then directed us toward the VIP lounge. Before we left, I shared with Dude that I had been given tickets to the event and how even more awesome it was that Michael had won our way into the VIP lounge. Dude said we full of positive energy, that he could feel it, and wished us luck as we started towards an even more incredible night.
"Just won a contest from @airheadscandy and won VIP passes here at the #oddballcomedyfestival #free… "
Michael was ecstatic. He couldn't wait to meet Dave Chappelle. I was nervous because I didn't want to look stupid in front of any celebrities. We forgot about the food and headed straight to the lounge. The older white men at the entrance told us we couldn't walk in with our drinks so Michael finished his and I tossed what I had left of my lime/strawberry margarita. You bet we were mad; had Michael checked his status minutes before, we wouldn't have spent any money on alcohol that night. But once again, I reminded him, not everything is free, even when it is.
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| VIP status, baby! |
The chicks behind the beer table were promoting Redd's Apple Ale which I tried because I like apple juice. Michael grabbed a Blue Moon. As they placed reusable can holders on our beers, I asked them for t-shirts like theirs with a big red apple on them but they said they had run out. We heard the crowd hollering in the amphitheater and decided to check out the show. We followed the signs to the VIP seating but our wristbands were useless there. We needed VIP seat tickets to get past the workers. And just like that, Michael and I lost our cool factor. We were going to end up sitting in the nosebleed section after all. So I tried to hold on to the fact that I was there for free. But I pulled a Michael by remaining pretty bummed. To regain some of our dignity, we returned to the lounge. But Michael stopped halfway there. He realized that we were standing in this gray area between the lounge and the backstage that led the comedians and regular folks like us toward the same exit. That meant we were standing in the path of some pretty famous people. And thus the stalking began.
I spotted my first celebrity pretty quickly. He was tall and slim, wearing all black, with longish wavy hair and a scruffy face. I recognized him from the NBC comedy Whitney. He plays the boyfriend on the show. As I pointed him out to Michael, the actor returned backstage. Michael got on his phone and looked up his name so we could be prepared for his reappearance. Chris D'Elia. That's what we were going to say nonchalantly when he came out of his hiding place again.
As we waited for other recognizable faces, a group of event coordinators huddled next to us. Michael expressed his desire to be one of them and I almost threw him in the circle so he could start networking. But that's when Chris popped out again. Michael told me to get ready but I was nervous. It was like meeting Rider Strong in 2008 all over again. Except I didn't have a crush on Chris. Either way, I was mute so Michael spoke up.
"Hey Chris, can we get a picture with you?"
"Yeah, sure," he said.
I walked towards him as he checked in with someone behind us. Then Chris put his arm around me and I put mine around him. We stood still as Michael took the pic and the rest is history.
Michael said, "Thanks, man."
Chris said, "No problem."
Our egos automatically rose to VIP status again.
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| With Chris D'Elia at the Oddball Comedy Festival. |
"@airheadscandy thanks for the VIP tickets I'm glad my #AirheadMoment helped me become the coolest kid here."
Shortly after, we caught Jeff Ross heading in our direction. His dirty looking hair was tied up in half a pony tail. Michael approached him but Jeff ignored him by looking back at his friends as he made his way to the exit. That's how we came to the conclusion that Jeff Ross sucks.
It was hard to pinpoint any other comedians because we didn't have a clue what they looked like. Except for Dave Chappelle. But it was time for another drink. We went inside the lounge where Michael now had an Apple Ale as we continued to assess the crowd from our VIP view.
"Having an amazing time in the @ReddsAppleAle VIP lounge at the #oddballcomedyfestival thanks to @airheadscandy."
Michael pointed out one of the few African American guys leaving the backstage area and asked me if it was Dave Chappelle. The guy was wearing a newsboy hat like the ones Dave wears. But he didn't have any facial hair the way I recalled Dave having. Besides, he looked too young and we dismissed it. Then we caught sight of Chris D'Elia again, looking a little lost. He walked to and fro by himself, distracted by his phone. He finally sat on a golf cart that had transported the big shots from the parking lot. Michael suggested we go make small talk with him but I knew nothing about him other than asking about Whitney Cummings.
At 10:30, all of us cool kids were told that our beloved VIP lounge was about to close. The workers had to get it ready for the Oddball Comedy Festival after-party for the celebs. Our wristbands should have turned into pumpkins then. But the clock hadn't chimed yet and there was still beer left. Michael asked the guy behind the table for a Cape Cod while he poured himself another Apple Ale because they were out of Blue Moon. Only the coolest kids on the the block walk out of a VIP lounge double fisting it for free.
We had no choice but to find our seats and enjoy what was left of the show. We were on a high from the damn luck we'd had all day. Dave Chappelle was the perfect ending to our free, lucky, crazy, unbelievable, amazing, fun night at the Oddball Comedy Festival. Michael was mad that our wristbands didn't give us access to the after-party but I don't think I could have handled more. Okay, I could have. But we couldn't get greedy because that's where our future luck would surely end.
Need tickets to an event? Don't call Ticketmaster. Check in with Michael or me first. We probably have what you're looking for...
Shortly after, we caught Jeff Ross heading in our direction. His dirty looking hair was tied up in half a pony tail. Michael approached him but Jeff ignored him by looking back at his friends as he made his way to the exit. That's how we came to the conclusion that Jeff Ross sucks.
It was hard to pinpoint any other comedians because we didn't have a clue what they looked like. Except for Dave Chappelle. But it was time for another drink. We went inside the lounge where Michael now had an Apple Ale as we continued to assess the crowd from our VIP view.
"Having an amazing time in the @ReddsAppleAle VIP lounge at the #oddballcomedyfestival thanks to @airheadscandy."
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| This is how we roll. Wut wut! |
At 10:30, all of us cool kids were told that our beloved VIP lounge was about to close. The workers had to get it ready for the Oddball Comedy Festival after-party for the celebs. Our wristbands should have turned into pumpkins then. But the clock hadn't chimed yet and there was still beer left. Michael asked the guy behind the table for a Cape Cod while he poured himself another Apple Ale because they were out of Blue Moon. Only the coolest kids on the the block walk out of a VIP lounge double fisting it for free.
We had no choice but to find our seats and enjoy what was left of the show. We were on a high from the damn luck we'd had all day. Dave Chappelle was the perfect ending to our free, lucky, crazy, unbelievable, amazing, fun night at the Oddball Comedy Festival. Michael was mad that our wristbands didn't give us access to the after-party but I don't think I could have handled more. Okay, I could have. But we couldn't get greedy because that's where our future luck would surely end.
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